Thursday 03/09/2020

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيمِ

Hari ani aku malar menangis. In fact, I didn't get a good night's sleep. Frequently waking up in the middle of the night checking my phone. And then in the morning, my dad called me up. I was about to break down when I heard my dad's voice. He just called me to ask for advice as the Dr. seek our family permission if they can do a small incursion between my mom's shoulder and neck join.

Why? Well since the medication that they're going to give my mom is so strong that big chances it would damage the small arteries on her hand. And when that happens they will need to insert the needle at a different part which can end up hurting my mom even more.

By doing this incursion not only it will be on the main artery which can withstand the medicine dosage. Also at the same time, it can travel faster. I gave my consent and so did everyone.

This long drive to KB really took its toll on me. Arrived in KB just after lunch time. Nda jua dapat kan jalan awal since ICU visiting hours are limited. So by the time I got to see her I hold my tears. I mean you guys can see how she looked like when she was just being put on her hospital bed. 

This would be the first time I got to see her since last night of which felt like forever. Seeing her being put on a ventilator and with wires and tubes hanging on her body. She looked so helpless and weak. After a few mins, I left her bed and find a quiet corner. Silently I let go of my tears. I just couldn't hold it back.

We had our lunch in KB town. All of us were starving but our lunch talk was awkward.

So when I shared the news about my mom being admitted to ICU the amount of doa, well wishes was overwhelming. Friends and colleagues all contacted me and I just can't thank them enough. Then one of my colleagues from work texted me asking if it is ok for them to held a sunat hajat prayer for my mom. And when she said this photo I broke down and cried. Gosh, this is really emotional for me. I cried back then and I shed a few tears while typing this.

Thank you, Allah, even when you test us with this yet you still shower us with love. You show us that even in a difficult time there will be people who want the best for you. Thank you Allah.

And to all of them. You will always be in my prayer and I am forever grateful.

Another sunset in KB from the ICU waiting corridor. Sending prayers so my mom can recover well.

Also tonight was tahlil night so my mom's sibling are also holding a solat sunat hajat for my mom.

Holding my mom's hand while I whispered to her ears telling her to stay strong and urging her to get well soon. I told her about the number of people who sent out well wishes. She is so loved.

We went to Chicken King Restaurant for dinner. I silently ate my dinner not trying to that one empty seat next to my dad. Apparently, he realizes it too. =(

Til my next post. Stay safe everyone!

-W-